This post is most definitely a rant I'm sure most hormone positive breast cancer patients will relate to. Weight gain!! Pre-cancer, I always assumed one would lose weight during a battle with cancer. This is not the case with breast cancer. 80% of BC patients gain up to 30 pounds! And losing it is a whole new battle! Many oncologists say that hormone blockers do not cause weight gain. They say that it is due to the lack of hormones in our bodies. But...that is caused by the hormone blockers!! They also say that the weight gain is caused by lack of movement during treatment and recovery. But...that too is caused by the pain hormone blockers cause! So it may not be those tiny pills exactly, but they cause effects on our body that make us gain weight. And it seems impossible to lose! How are we supposed to move more when our joints and muscles hurt so much? When these drugs make us so tired it feels impossible to move. When these drugs affect our emotions? So many times, I have wanted to throw those dang pills into the garbage and get my life back. but I don't want cancer again either. So I continue the battle with these drugs that are meant to help me in one way, but breaks me in others.
The results of having breast cancer affects our self confidence already, the weight gain just adds to what we see when we look in the mirror. I know we are supposed to love our bodies, no matter what the shape or size, but I'm not happy with the amount of rolls on my body! I don't enjoy wasting so much time and money trying to find clothing to hide them. And most importantly, some studies are showing that pre-menopausal women who gain weight have an increased risk of recurrence.
It's time to try and take back control. And I mean really try! It's time to improve my self image and confidence. I will push through the pain and put away the chips. I'm hoping that this post will make me more accountable. I will share my journey. I can do this. It will be hard, but living like this is much harder.